Broken Soul
by kayspaz15
Summary: Going to the roof is calming for Rin. It helps him clear his head, most of the time. The weight of feeling alone is getting to him. None of the people he cares so deeply about, feel the same way and he is starting to lose hope, fast. One-shot. Warning, this story has suicidal thoughts, self harm, and attempted suicide. Amazing cover art by LittleFireOfLife.


**I know, I know, I need to update my other stories but I honestly don't know where to go with them yet. It'll come to me though. In the meantime I hope this will satisfy you guys that are following me and/or those who just figured that they would take a look at this one-shot. It will all be in Rin's point of view. Enjoy!**

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" _Why am I different? Why can't I just have a chance? I know that they hate me and are most likely scared that I'll go berserk again, but why? Why am I such an idiot? I wish I was more like Yukio. He is always doing something right where as I'm the complete opposite. I always screw things up and he always has to fix it."_ Sigh. " _Maybe it'd be better if I wasn't here to burden my brother and scare my "friends". They don't need me."_ I look up at the stars and think. I couldn't sleep after another failure of mine. I still can't get anyone to talk to me. Not even after a month of trying to be as kind and as like the old me as possible. They don't understand that I have feelings and that I am still human, even with this damn demon blood running through my veins. They don't understand how hard this is on me. They don't see the scars. They don't see the pain I endure from their constant ridicule. They don't know how lonely it has been or how many nights I have spent up on this roof contemplating ending my miserable existence. I could easily jump off the edge and no one would even care. Yukio has been avoiding me and I think he might be scared too. I mean, I am just a demon that lost control. I could've easily killed someone. " _I'm not even worth this chance Father Fujimoto gave me."_ "Dad…" Tears started rolling down my face. "I failed and you died because of me! I don't deserve this!" I sobbed. I considered my options. I could continue this miserable life with nothing left or I could let the bliss of death comfort me and take me away from this hell. "Agh!" I let out, yet again, a pathetic cry. I couldn't take this anymore so I took my pocket knife and sliced my arms up. It felt good to bleed and I calmed down a bit. My breathing started to even out again when I heard footsteps. " _No! I can't let Yukio see me like this!"_ Luckily I had brought a blanket with me since I get cold real easily. I wrapped myself up in it, taking care to cover my still bleeding arms seeing as I had cut real deep many times. I quickly put my pocket knife in my pocket and laid down pretending to look up at the stars when Yukio walked out on the roof. "Nii-san? Are you okay? I heard someone crying." " _Shit, was I really that loud?"_ "Yeah, I'm fine, j-just couldn't sleep. I d-didn't hear a cry though. You must be goin crazy f-four eyes." I replied, I couldn't however keep the shakiness out of my voice and mentally kicked myself. That's when I panicked. Yukio started walking over here and tried see what was wrong. He noticed crimson staining my blanket and the tear lines down my face. "Nii-san…" I looked away. "Please tell me that's not what I think it is. Please." He pleaded. He started reaching down to grab my blanket and I let him. I didn't care anymore and fresh tears poured down my face. My vision was getting spotty. I think I went deeper than I thought I had because I was still losing blood even with my healing abilities. "Rin, why are you crying?" He grabbed the blanket and gasped. "No… Rin, why?" I couldn't answer though because I had fallen onto my side. "Rin!" I couldn't breath. I was losing too much blood. Yukio had whipped out his phone and started talking to someone. I didn't even care. Then out of nowhere a big puff of pink smoke appeared revealing Mephisto who actually looked shocked for once by what I could still see. He then bent over and grabbed my wrists. I yelped. They were healing. "No. NO! JUST LET ME DIE! YOU DON'T CARE ANYWAY! Please… Don't make me live in this hell anymore." My wrists were healed but I was weak and crying. That damn clown then left. He messes everything up. I looked at my dear brother and saw the tears streaming down his face. It mirrored the pain I knew was on mine. All that pain I saw swimming across his eyes, it was real. He actually cared. That's when he pulled me close. "Please Rin, d-don't ever leave me. Especially not like that. P-please… You're my strong older brother and, and I need you!" I had figured it out. He does care, and if he still cared, then maybe the others did as well. "I w-wont. Please, just d-don't leave me alone again." I shakily said. "I won't, not ever again."

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I had figured it out that day. Even if people don't show it in the way you would think, they still do care. If my brother hadn't of come that day at the time he did, I would've missed it all. All the happiness that can come from life, and even though I know that it will take some time for my friends to accept me, it has already started. Shiemi has started sitting by me again and talking to me, the Kyoto Trio have been teasing me like normal, and Izumo, well, she has still been the same as always. Shura found out about the cutting I had been doing during a training session and was surprisingly understanding. As for me and my brother, we have been closer than ever before. Mephisto hasn't spoken a word to anyone about that night because Yukio had said something unknown to me but I was thankful because not everyone needed to know. It was a story for another time because now I am free. Free to live life and defeat the one responsible for my father's death. I am climbing out of the chaos I was in and putting myself back in the place I needed to be. That place is with my friends, and my brother. They all mean so much to me, and now I understand that I mean just as much to them. My soul is whole again. It is no longer broken.

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 **Well I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot and if you have any ideas for some more one-shots or stories in general just pm me or put it in the reviews. Yes, I am going to update Shattered Spirits soon, I just gotta get my brain to figure out what I want to happen next. Anyway have a good day and don't forget to follow/favorite/review! Kayspaz15 out.**


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